I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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