I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
