he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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