i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
