Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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