You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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