Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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