We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
