4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
