Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
