1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
