I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
