I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
