her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
