Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
jump out the window naked night went bad
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
