after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How naked do you want me to be?
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