Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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