I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
