the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
