How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
