Will you blow on my dice?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
