i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
