Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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