He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
