is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
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