i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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