Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just gargled with NyQuil
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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