Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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