He is an equal opportunity slut.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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