I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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