How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
