yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You're like the curious george of whores
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
