dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
