You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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