Just cropdusted the office
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
