We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
