I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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