My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize