I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
