if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
