Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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