I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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