I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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