well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He did a backflip because drugs
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
