Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
