please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
