You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
