gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
