Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
