found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
