She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize