i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
