So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
