Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
did i just pee glitter
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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