i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
