drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
