I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
