Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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