this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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