Duck Duck Cougar?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
