4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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