It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
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Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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