So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
