On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
