great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize