This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize